My roommate moved out today, taking Cooper on a long road trip back to Portland.
Sure, this is great for her life goals of finishing her degree and getting a job she likes and being near her family. But WTF, that’s my step-dog!
Who will chew the tassels off my slippers and sneak up behind me on the couch to remove the scrunchies from my ponytail, with his teeth?
Who will make off with any paper towel or Kleenex left anywhere in the vicinity? (Have I ever mentioned Cooper’s paper products fetish?) Who will leave meat unmolested on the counter, but leap up anytime there’s a shot at the butter?
Who will wriggle his butt while he backs away when I come home, chew-toy in mouth and looking for all the world like a haughty horse so that while I chase him down for tug-of-war I’m forced to inform him that he’s not as special as he thinks he is, are you, My Little Pony?
Who will put his paws on my arms as I rub his belly first thing every morning, reminding me yet again that, in fact, he is the alpha and I exist to do his bidding?
(My sad attempts at being an alpha dog worked about as well as Cooper’s efforts at chasing his tail… occasional success breeding overexcitement and subsequent flailing back into failure. I tried resigning myself to being the beta dog, but my roommate told me sadly that I’m more of a gamma.)
Luckily, to temper my pain, I have a very nice new roommate moving in. And she doesn’t come alone.
Everyone? This is Arthur.
-->Feed me text
December 15, 2009 at 11:53 am
I still listen for Cooper’s collar every time I enter the main part of the apartment (my room is separate). I never even knew I did that… until the jangling wasn’t there anymore.
December 19, 2009 at 12:17 pm
Sigh, I just dreamed about that crazy beast. My mom tried to make me feel better by telling me he probably dreamed about me too. I did not tell her that the one time we knew Cooper was dreaming was because he was in the throes of an obvious sex dream. My roommate and I were having a normal conversation in the living room when we noticed some thrusting action taking place on the floor next to us. That Cooper… always finding some way to make himself the center of attention. Even in his sleep.
December 21, 2009 at 5:03 pm
I’m sorry about your loss
but am ecstatic about your gain 
My life would be empty and borderline meaningless without my four four-legged, Siamese children (cats, not mutants).
December 22, 2009 at 12:59 pm
I’m sorry – losing a pet (even a step-pet) always hurts.
Arthur’s gorgeous though.
December 22, 2009 at 1:42 pm
Thanks for the commiseration, y’all. I’m home for the holidays (New York!!!!) but Arthur will move in right around when I get back, so I think that will dull my pain.
I still walk into a room and want to say, “Out of my way, Little Dog!” Except there is no dog in my way.
I will have to learn whole new ways of interacting with a cat!